Hold you close
by ginnys01
Summary: Lily reflects on the last year, just as Harry was born


AN: AN: one shot written for the QLFC week 4

Position prompt: BEATER 1: "The bounce has gone from his bungee." — Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave

Additional prompts used:

Prompt 1: (song) Run Boy Run — Woodkid

Prompt 4: (quote) 'I reserve actual terror for only the most special of occasions.' — Monstress, Marjorie Liu & Sana Takeda

Prompt 7: (quote) 'She didn't want to be insignificant anymore' — Circle of Shadows, Evelyn Skye

Prompt 11: (action) hide

Prompt 12: (quote) 'You know what they say about truth and the appearance of truth being opposites.' — The Power, Naomi Alderman

Thanks to my fellow Puddlemere United team members falling winter roses, JBrocks917 and Marvelgeek42 for beta-ing.

* * *

He looks perfect. He's so tiny. My little Harry. I can't keep my eyes off him. I keep thinking something is going to happen to him. I can barely stand to let go of him when James takes him to hold for a bit. He is so good with Harry. It makes me wonder how he'd ever reacted how he had when I told him I was it gave me a flash-back to when I told him I was expecting.

"_How long do you think you'll keep doing these missions?" I asked James, not long after I'd found out that I was pregnant._

_James looked at me as if I was crazy. "You sound as if you want to stop fighting. We knew what we were doing when we joined and now you're saying you want to stop? Whatever happened to 'over my dead body?' Just last week you wanted to go too, and now you don't want me to go. You have to —"_

"_James, I'm pregnant!" I interrupted his rant._

_James stopped talking in the middle of his sentence and looked at me. "Wait, what—? A baby? Really?"_

_I nodded. "That is why I want to go into hiding and not because I want to stop fighting."_

_James didn't answer. He stood with his mouth open, looking at me, but not actually seeing me. Not long after he was lying on the floor having fainted._

_It was the first time that the thought of hiding or running was brought up, but certainly not the last._

Harry had moved into his godfather's arms by now. The Marauders are standing together looking at my little boy…

_We told the Marauders when they came over to celebrate Christmas. We were all sitting around the Christmas tree passing around the presents like we'd done the year before. The last presents under the tree were labeled for Sirius, Remus and Peter. Only there wasn't a name, indicating from who on them. We had decided that the best way of telling them was to buy them a t-shirt saying best uncle in the world. For Sirius, we went slightly different and bought him a 'best godfather in the world' t-shirt. All three of them opened their present relatively fast, so the surprise wasn't spoiled by the others. Peter looked at his t-shirt disbelievingly, and Remus looked up at us for confirmation before congratulating us. Sirius proved why he was so close to James by copying James' reaction. A large thud was heard as Sirius fell to the floor._

Harry is passed along to Alice, at the same time as Neville is passed to me. Both boys are so cute, and it's nice that they are only one day apart. Hopefully, they will grow up being best friends. We were so excited when we were pregnant. We went through everything together since I told my friends and she told us.

_My friends were told when they came over for New Year's. Because of the war and our schedules we hadn't managed to meet up at Christmas so we did our present swap then. Once again we left the t-shirts for last. Marlene, Dorcas and Mary got a 'best aunt in the world t-shirt. Frank, who had come with Alice, got a t-shirt saying best uncle in the world and Alice got a 'best godmother in the world' t-shirt. Where it went deadly quiet when the Marauders found out, it became as loud now. The girls couldn't wait to congratulate us and to hug me._

_But it was Alice who gave us the surprise that night. "Talking about babies. Frank and I are expecting a little one as well." All us girls had reacted in the same way as they had for me before, congratulating Alice and Frank._

_It hadn't been until just before everyone left that I had a few moments with Alice alone. She turned around to me smiling. "Thank you for making me the godmother. Will return the favour and be our little one's godmother?"_

_I had screamed and hugged her immediately nodding my head. Of course I would._

As I look around at my friends, I realise this is probably the last time we'll all be together like this. The prophecy is the cause of that. I wish that I had never heard it. We are in hiding now, but not as I thought. My wish was to go into hiding, maybe a different country so that our son could live a normal life. Now he can't. He is one of the two boys that might be destined to defeat Voldemort.

"_Lily, James, Alice, Frank, I appreciate you coming here today. I would like it if you went into hiding. I've received information that one of your children might be important in the war to come," Dumbledore started as soon as we had sat down._

_It was Frank who asked him to elaborate, and that's why he told us the prophecy:_

'_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...'_

_I wish I hadn't heard it. I didn't want my boy to be special. I looked up at Alice and her face showed the same emotions as mine. Shock, disbelieve, terror._

_When we joined the order, it was because we wanted to make a difference. She didn't want to be insignificant anymore, and neither did I. but neither of us thought that it would affect a future child of ours. _

_I don't do terror. I reserve actual terror for only the most special of occasions. And this was one of them. we were just told that our unborn child, might win or lose us this war. An unborn child should not have that weight on them. they should be born in a world with hope._

As my little boy makes his way back to me, Sirius intercepts him and holds him. I think Sirius forgets sometimes that he isn't the father. It gives me hope that no matter what happens, Harry will always have someone to go to.

_Sirius was so excited about being the godfather, that every time he came over he had bought something new for the baby room. In the end I decided that I might as well let him do the baby room. I didn't have the energy. My thoughts kept going to the prophecy. That is how the baby room was done. The Marauders took it on as their own project. It was on one of the occasions when they came over to do the painting that I overheard Remus and Sirius talk._

"_You know ever since they went up to see Dumbledore, they seem really down." I think I heard Remus say._

"_Yeah, James was so excited. Now the bounce has gone from his bungee." That was definitely Sirius, but where was James?_

"_The bounce has gone from his bungee? Where did you get that one?" Remus was right I hadn't heard that saying yet. Therefore his reply surprised me._

"_Muggle saying." I'm pretty sure that isn't true. I wonder where Sirius heard it, but I wasn't planning on disturbing them. they wanted to surprise me with the room. showing me when everything was ready. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I wanted to leave. That I wanted to run away until my baby was old enough to defend himself. I decided to leave them to it and left to go back to the kitchen. _

_I had been so wrapped up in how I felt, that I hadn't noticed that it had affected James too. _

I look around the room once again, seeing everyone happy. Harry is back in my arms and I smile at him as he opens his eyes. I can't help but think about a quote my parents sometimes said: 'You know what they say about truth and the appearance of truth being opposites.' I can't think of a time it is more applicable than now. We all look happy, but on the inside none of us are, we are all too worried. Worried that tomorrow one of us might not be here. When we arrive back in our little cottage, I'll talk to James again about running or hiding. I need my baby to be safe. But for now I'll just hold you close.


End file.
